Always be self-caring…
I believe there should be a mandatory class in middle school, hell even high school, that teaches mental health, addiction, eating disorders, preparing for life, and all the things. Life is hard. Not everyone has a kind heart. It is not always rainbows and butterflies- but we can control our happiness. What is our biggest hater/blocker is our mind.
High School for me- I hated it. Bullies, haters, trying to discover yourself, first love, heartbreak, trying to fit in and find your place, and all the things. I messed up a few times along the way that caused disruption in my family, but also something that made us stronger together. It wasn’t until my junior year in high school when I felt the pressure- pressure to have it all figured out and know my next steps. Pressure to graduate and go to college and figure out what the hell I am doing. That is when the rollercoaster was introduced.
Rollercoaster- my therapist and I label my eating disorder so that I can acknowledge and call attention to it when the rollercoaster wants to take over. An opportunity for me to acknowledge, manage, and control. The rollercoaster for me felt freeing. Felt like I could escape and control any anxiety or pain I was experiencing while binging and purging. Toxic right? The rollercoaster is something I am not proud of, but also something I am not ashamed to discuss. Rollercoaster has been a part of my life for over a decade. There are times when Rollercoaster will creep up and just take over, and there are moments when I am triggered that I am able to manage the Rollercoaster and focus on healthy behaviors. I am extremely thankful for therapy. I am so thankful that mental health is something that is more openly discussed. I hated my body and felt disgusting. I would yo-yo diet and drink every day as a coping mechanism to avoid what I felt. I felt empty, alone, and depressed. I was emotional and highly sensitive all the time. I truly didn’t understand how to love me unconditionally. Therapy changed that.
Self- care wasn’t something I truly understood or discovered until the year of 2019. Desperate and devoted to healthy healing, understanding my triggers, and developing boundaries- I leaned into self- care books, journaling, podcasts, and learning to be more intentional with my energy and physical health. Food has always been comforting and nourishing for me. Now, I have found a deeper appreciation for food and the art of cooking- it is so therapeutic. That took a few years to learn and understand. I’ve always been into fitness and working out- there were seasons of my life when working out was a routine in my life, and there were also seasons when I gave up. It wasn’t until I noticed a change in my body after I cut out all red meat and pork, reduced the amount of dairy I indulged in, and grew a deeper respect for my body (and not comparing myself to others). I was made perfect in his image, and I had to build my confidence to understand what works for my body and what my body rejects. The year of 2019 is the year my mental health and healing journey became stronger- and also when I fell in love with cycling.
Every Saturday morning in Chicago I would ride the Divvy bikes throughout the city. I would bike for 20+ miles all day, through the different neighborhoods without a plan in sight. Just bike and it was such an invigorating experience. Something that also impacted my other friends seeing my journey and inspired them to join me. That felt good. I also worked for a cycling studio in Chicago where I grew an obsession for the energy and motivation each instructor provided. When 2020 hit and the world shut down- I was devastated I could not to cycle.
My best friend introduced me to Peloton. I never heard of Peloton and how big the community is. Thank goodness for this introduction! Buying my bike was my first big investment for myself- for me- for my self-care. Being on that bike I am in a different space- mentally and physically. I am in the zone, and I feel unstoppable when the ride is over and I can have a great day. My mental is rejuvenated and my body feels amazing. Strong body, strong mind. My brother introduced me into changing my eating habits and going Gluten-free. Holy Shit my body transformed! Calling Khloe Kardashian- revenge body :) I was managing my relationship with Rollercoaster as it essentially went ghost as I invested so much into my physical and mental space. A new energy was born and I was healing in so many ways.
Self-care looks different for everyone. We all have underlying things, memories or experiences we try to suppress, overthinking and ruminating, self-sabotage and imposture syndrome. Let me tell you something- tell those things to back off. Focus on being the best version of yourself and loving yourself so deep that no one can tell you anything less than. Take intentional time to nourish your soul. Take intentional time to nurture your energy. Take intentional time for you. Always be kind- you never know what someone is battling privately and internally. Always be self-caring and kind to yourself.
Below are some ideas of what self-care looks like:
Routine massages, facials, manicure and pedicures
Hugs and long walks with open talks
Drink water and stay hydrated
Reading and journaling: The Untethered Soul, The Alchemist, Girl Wash Your Face, Feeding the Soul, Good Morning I Love You, Lean In are just a few of my favorites
Binge watching a feel good show and drinking wine
Get active and move your body (https://web.deniseaustin.com/lifestyle/tips-for-self-care/ )
Listening to music and dancing
Stretching, yoga, Pilates
Cooking
Drawing, painting, crafting
Meditate
Spend intentional quiet time with yourself
Get fresh air and kiss the sun
Spend time with your supportive circle
What does self- care look like and mean to you?