Always be intentional (pt. 2)

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and do so with passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” -Maya Angelou

In her song, Free Mind, Tems sings

This is the peace that you cannot buy
Send me a love that you cannot mix
One is the joy that you cannot waste
And the other one price that you cannot fix
This is the peace that you cannot buy
Finding a way when you cannot see
Man will desist if he cannot pray
I need to find release

Intentional with Setting Healthy Boundaries

Everyone falls down sometimes, but you just gotta know it will all be fine, it’s ok, it’s all good… - Song “Sunday Best” by Surfaces

Why is it important to set healthy boundaries? The article I linked shares some helpful insight and also examples of why and how to set healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries is important for your mental health. Not everything that you attract is for you. Through therapy I learned that it is critical to know who the right people are to be connected to, to be mindful of the gifts you give, and honor and consider other people’s boundaries.

Do you know your ways to recharge? Listen, we are human and we have our moments when we fall short or just feel exhausted. For me I have a hard time with sitting still. I always feel like I have to constantly be moving or doing something to keep busy and fill time. It has taken some grace and patience to understand that being “busy” doesn’t always mean being productive. Investing in myself and my energy is important because when I was busy or constantly saying yes to things for FOMO (fear of missing out) I was losing much needed rest. Digging deep into understanding how do I recharge was essential to establishing healthy boundaries. When I felt fatiqued or drained, I had to listen to my body and heart- what is causing this? What is triggering me? How can I get back to my center? For me, that was- going on walks, exercising on the Peloton or through Pilates, seeking sunshine, reading a good book, cooking, saying “no” when I know that my energy is not in good spirits, listening to upbeat music and journaling, and taking naps.

The word “boundary” can be a bit misleading. It conveys the idea of keeping yourself separate. But boundaries are actually connecting points since they provide healthy rules for navigating relationships, intimate or professional. (The No BS Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries)

Intentional with Being Nonjudgmental and Inclusive

“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk shit about people and what they do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.”

Back in 2014, I read Joel Osteen’s Book I Declare: 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life and it truly helped shift my mindset and perspective on things. At that time I was in focused on my move to Chicago and growing personally. With growth that required a mindset shift and also self-reflection. Why was I giving so much energy to others when they were probably not losing sleep over me? Why did I have road rage? Why did I think it was entertaining to clown someone’s outfit? This year was my transformative year. I had to dig deep into self reflection and discover for my personal growth- what brand did I want to be associated with and what legacy did I want to leave behind? How did I want to positively impact people? How did I want to make those around me, or even strangers, feel welcomed and included? How am I showing up for myself and also taking some accountability? What was considered “fun” for me? Through this journey I had to make some changes in my bahvior, the people I associated myself with (social friends vs. real friends), networking, and growing my professional journey. It is hard not to compare yourself to other people success, their personal life, and what their brand reflects. What I learned is that just because someone has this dope outfit, doesn’t necessarily mean that will look dope on you. Everyone has their own styles and so do you.

Drama and gossip just drains my energy. I will admit, these reality TV shows are entertaining and addictive (Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s is my guilty pleasure). When I watch some of these shows sometimes I cringe and think , “This is how you treat your friends? It’s so fake.” Then again, it is TV ;)

Sure, you can get frustrated or not understand someone’s behavior- but after a while harping on this only disolves your energy; meanwhile that individual is living their life how they want to. Who are we to judge? Words have power and infuence. What are we teaching our future leaders? How are we shaping the minds of those around us? Who is your circle of influence? Since when did it become cool to enable people’s unhealthy behaviors? If someone you know is constantly nagging or draining your energy, only focuses on the negative, and judges/talks down on other people- check them! That shit isn’t cool and is old. The world is already hard enough and you never know what people are going through. Accept and respect people for who they are, listen with empathy, have compassion, and also know when to check someone and understand what isn’t serving you anymore in the right direction.

If you are willing to look at another person's behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all. Yogi Bhajan.

Intentional with Being Happy and Manifesting the Life I Want

“If you’re out here working towards your dream goals, I hope it works for you. I am rooting for you.”

My dad has always been an entrepreneur at heart. I admire that energy and grit in him, and his willingness to take risks. Some people are wired that way. They see the vision and will do whatever it takes to grind. During the pandemic, we saw a wave of passion projects come to life. People were on their hustle to create something that was bigger than themselves. Creatively, passionately, vunerably pouring their heart and energy into something they believed in. Starting their own side businesses and finding their own individual purposes was amazing to watch. It took digging deep into pushing passed that fear and fly.

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?
― Erin Hanson

I truly believe in vision boards. It is one thing to dream, but writing your goals towards your vision and visually seeing something there is power in that. Manifest that shit. You can do it! You may not always need the validation from others, just validate yourself. You have a purpose and calling, and there is a reason this idea came to your mind- not it is time to light that idea and get hungry. Lean into your circle of influence for feedback- and take that leap of Faith. Start with S.M.A.R.T goals to get yourself organized. Ask for support and help, bounce ideas off of your trusted circle, most importantly invest in yourself and what makes you happy. It will take diligence, determination, dedication, and removing distratcions.

My sister-in-law once said to me, “Have you ever considered writing a book? (I laughed and subconsciously processed self- doubt) I haven’t met someone that is really passionate about wellness and self-care and health than you. You are great with your words and have this positive influence and energy on others that you may not realize. It is admirable.” I was stunned and also honored. I’ve heard this before from friends, but to hear this from my sister-in-law who I respect meant a lot to me. And so… here we are. Through this blog I am hoping to do just that. Also, I’ve grown this passion in the fitness space and am studying to become a pilates instructor.

Life is filled with so many things to be grateful for. What makes you happy? Is it tapping into real estate and having investment properties, taking your kids out on a date, working hard to shed those 15lbs, building a healthy relationship with your partner, going after that next level in your career, building your own business or practice, saving for your future home, being surrounded by positivity and laughter, teaching, worshipping, hosting events, traveling- whatever that looks like for you keep going.